


your love will be safe with me.

by incalyscent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (kinda), Because I haven't seen it, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Lowercase, M/M, Minor Rey/Rose Tico, Mutual Pining, No the rise of skywalker spoilers, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Sharing a Bed, bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, hey star wars fandom, local poet does prose, minor character injury, no beta we die like men, you've been warned this is extremely soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21944056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incalyscent/pseuds/incalyscent
Summary: when finn stripped away the violence from himself, what did he have left?it was love; love; love.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 56
Kudos: 394





	your love will be safe with me.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tangelojack](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangelojack/gifts).



> i've been twisting to the sun  
> i needed to replace  
> and the fountain in the front yard is rusted out  
> all my love was down in a frozen ground  
> there's a black crow sitting across from me  
> his wiry legs are crossed  
> he's dangling my keys, he even fakes a toss  
> whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?
> 
> on your back with your racks as the stacks of your load  
> in the back with the racks and the stacks of your load  
> in the back with your racks and you're unstacking your load
> 
> this is not the sound of a new man  
> or crispy realization  
> it's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away  
>  **your love will be safe with me**
> 
> -bon iver, _re: stacks_.

poe has been gone three days, six hours and forty two minutes.

finn has barely slept any of those hours.

his last transmission was full of static, and blaring alarms, and his unnervingly calm voice saying  _ coming in hot, gonna be a rough landing _ before there was a sickening crunch and the line went dead. finn has been shaking since then, even with his hands clasped in rey’s. it’s too risky to send a squadron after him, considering he was flying solo to begin with. finn’s every nerve feels frayed, rubbed at too long, just like how the thick fabric of resistance issue uniforms chafed the scar up his back raw right after he came out of the bacta.

“he’s okay,” rey says to him, taking his face in her hands so he has to look at her, “he’s far too stubborn to let a little crash take him out.”

“i can’t lose him rey,” he says, his voice small and shaking. she nods, strokes the palm of her hand down his cheek again.

“we’ll get him back,” she assures again.

“i love him.”

the words come out and finn slaps a hand over his mouth, shining eyes above it. he takes a step back, searching rey for something, something he’s not even really sure about. and she just smiles, soft and a little sad.

“i know.”

-

the general barely lets him suffer an hour before she sends a droid to get him and rey.

“i’m sending you after him,” she says, without even looking up from where she’s studying a holomap. finn doesn’t need to hear the unspoken  _ i’m tired and i can’t lose anyone else _ ; he can see it in her eyes, even without her sparing him a glance. “take the falcon. take the coordinates. bring him home.”

so they do.

-

it’s easy to forget in the wake of poe’s crinkled smile and the softness of his hands that he is a vessel of war.

when the falcon drops out of hyperspace, carnage greets her. the shattered remains of tie fighters spin languidly out into space. finn can’t see the bodies of the pilots, but he doesn’t look that hard. if anything, it means there was no one left to try and shoot them down, and in these times it’s a blessing, even if a gruesome one.

the planet is barren and cold, not quite as bad as hoth, but flatter. it’s almost easy to find the crash site; a thin, wavering plume of smoke near the only building for miles and miles. an old base, it’s ideology lost to time, squat against the nameless horizon. poe’s a good enough pilot to get even a spinning vessel somewhere safe.

rey lands the falcon near the shattered, blazing remains of poe’s x-wing, and finn can feel dread crawl up his throat, the exact same wild, deadened anxiety that he felt after they crashed on jakku. he stands there, staring, until rey comes up and puts a hand on his arm. she has her lightsaber held loosely in her other hand, and her eyes are bright and big when they turn up to find his.

“come on,” she says, and takes his hand. she knows it’s no use searching the wreck, and so does finn.

the base was a hangar once, in another life; it’s innards are mostly wide and open, frigid duracrete walls doing nothing to preserve what little heat was present. their footsteps echo, and finn rests his hand on his blaster instinctually. he doesn’t know if poe was followed. he doesn’t know if this base is really abandoned, even. the first order has been worming their way into every system, and they can never be too careful.

the thought has just crossed him when blaser fire blinds him and scorches the wall just to the left of his head. both him and rey duck, hiding behind some discarded scrap of ship that finn can’t identify. it takes finn a moment to register that the bolt was red through his racing heart.

“we’re resistance!”

there’s the sound of one heavy footstep from across the hangar.

“finn?”

hands raised, finn gets up off the floor, even as rey eyes him, her teeth grit. but he knows that voice, even if it’s a bit weak and wavering.

across the hangar, poe is leaning heavily against a doorframe, looking small even with his blaster held firm and steady in his eyeline. the weapon drops and his head comes up when he sees finn, really sees him instead of just hearing his voice. he’s dirty and clearly favoring a leg but he’s  _ alive _ and that alone sends a white hot rush of relief flooding through finn, flooding through his mouth as a breathless laugh. rey pops her head into view as soon as he does, and finn can see poe’s smile all the way across the room.

“space and stars above, am i glad to see you two!” poe says, taking one rickety step towards them. finn winces with him.

“stay there, we’ll come to you,” rey calls, before hoisting herself over their makeshift cover. finn holsters his blaster and follows her.

and finn doesn’t know how and when he started picking up speed, striding past rey, face determined and welling and wet all at once, but he does know he can see it reflected in poe’s face as he gets closer. poe’s blaster drops from his fingers and he’s hugging finn back just as ferociously as finn hugs him. poe leans into him, cups the back of his head with one cold hand and presses his face into his shoulder, just for a moment, before he’s kissing finn’s temple. he’s shivering, from cold or something else, but in this moment all finn wants to do is protect. poe opens up when rey arrives, and she slots herself in, one arm around each middle. poe transfers his lips to her forehead. and they don’t have to say anything, so they don’t, and if they cry they don’t say anything about that either. they stand there, holding poe’s weight, and sharing warmth. that’s all they needed to do in that moment.

-

between the two of them it’s almost easy to get poe back to the falcon. he has a nasty looking cut on the back of one calf, and more than his fair share of burns. his ankle might be dislocated. it’s impossible to distinguish the damage from blaster fire and the blaze from the crash when he’s so covered in soot. but he’s shivering, even through his ruined flight suit, and as soon as the falcon is in the air and into hyperspace, rey says  _ go check on him _ because she knows that’s the only thing finn wants to do.

finn fetches the medkit before returning to the cot in which they deposited poe. he opens his eyes as finn approaches, bad leg stretched out, but smiles all the same, small and tired. he must hurt - he’s cradling an arm against a set of ribs, protecting them - but he puts on a brave face.

“how’re you feeling?” finn asks. he sets the medkit down next to poe.

“like i crashed my x-wing on an ice planet after being shot at by first order troops.”

“that good huh?” there’s only a few bacta patches and a few rolls of bandage. finn will make it work.

“at least my medic's cute.”

finn snorts, even if his cheeks start to burn immediately. “i’m only doing it ‘cause rey’s version of treating a wound is packing it with dirt and hoping for the best.”

“ah, the future of the jedi rests in her capable hands.”

“i can  _ hear _ you, you know.”

they both snicker, poe’s eyes lighting up with their familiar light, and all of a sudden, all over again, finn is so glad to have found him. he reaches for poe’s hand and he grips him back just as tight, and finn brings those knuckles to his lips despite the dirt and the blood. it’s less of a kiss and more of a point of contact, and finn squeezes his eyes shut and drinks in the warmth of poe’s skin. and when he opens his eyes again there’s something quietly determined in poe’s gaze; a wholehearted understanding that finn can’t quite grasp yet.

when finn stripped away the violence from himself, what did he have left? 

_ it was love; love; love. _

-

poe only whines a little bit when finn cuts his flight suit away from his burns, citing something about it being the third one in two cycles. finn just rolls his eyes. it’s the thin white tank that he wears under the suit that is the most stubbornly attached to his marred skin, but finn has steady hands and a patience learned, and is sure to still when poe’s face pulls in pain.

he’d been clipped in the ribs by blaster fire, and again on the thigh. his ankle is broken or sprained or dislocated, finn can’t be sure, but poe had to jam a knuckle in his mouth when finn took his boot off to look at it. the cut on his calf was bloody and bleeding but not anything finn’s particularly worried about, and neither is poe. the rest of it is just surface burns, enough to keep poe cold and uncomfortable, but not enough to use up the bacta trying to fix every single one while they’re in hyperspace.

so poe ends up wrapped in white from the feet up, tucked under every blanket finn could find once most of the soot had been wiped off of him, and also the jacket, which of course finn had worn - had been wearing since poe left anyways.

“how’s it going in here?” finn says as he comes back up to the cockpit. rey spares him a glance.

“same old. how’s he doing?”

“good.” finn checks over his shoulder to see poe curled on his good side in the cot. “asleep, i think.”

rey hums an acknowledgement, even as finn takes a seat in the copilot chair. she gives him a sly smile without actually looking at him.

“he called you cute.”

“shut up.”

she chuckles, growing more sober the more her eyes focus on the endlessness of space through the viewport in front of her. 

“i’m glad we found him.”

something squeezes tight in finn’s chest. “me too.”

-

as soon as they land, medics and medidroids swarm the falcon, and finn and rey tuck themselves under poe’s arms to help him onto the tarmac. even as he’s wheeled away, finn and rey stay on each side, all the way to medbay.

they cover him in more bacta and wrap him up tighter than before, and by the end of it he’s sending them both pitiful looks from his bed across the room. it's typical melodrama, so finn knows to grin and rey knows to snort her laughter. they stitch up his leg, wrap that up too. they’re most worried about his ankle, so they reset it (with a click that makes finn wince, even if poe only makes a short noise of pain), and tell him to spend at least a week off.

“a week? who’s gonna drill my pilots?”

the nurse turns to look at finn. “promise me you’ll do your best to keep him out of a cockpit?”

finn bites on a smile. “yes, ma’am.”

“you’re both the  _ worst _ .”

eventually finn and rey leave poe there, but not after his squadron of pilots rush in, rowdy until the general’s presence quiet's them. all she does is put a hand on finn’s shoulder and smile, before she goes to poe’s bedside to hold his hand, and poe lifts it to his lips to kiss.

poe’s still wearing the jacket.

-

finn does his drills. he goes to meetings. and he visits poe.

in the first order, they are not allowed to love.

becoming attached to one another was foolish. in order to perform without distraction, it means one cannot flinch if a fellow soldier falls beside them. it means picking up a dead trooper’s weapon to keep fighting. it was practical. it was logical.

it was impossible.

they grew up together, fought together, fell in love; fell in love and feared what would happen if somebody found out. love in the face of fear doesn’t always win. sometimes it goes sour. love has left a bad taste in finn’s mouth before.

but every time poe takes his hand or smiles his soft smile or says his name, it’s like he polishes a layer of varnish away from finn. finn is still scared, but it’s for a different reason this time. but he thinks, maybe, he might not have to be.

-

as per usual, it doesn’t take poe long before he  _ needs _ to move, so as soon as he’s cleared to walk he does, hobbling into the mess hall to be greeted by the hoots of his squadron. the whole time finn is at his arm, gets to watch his grin grow in real time as snap and kare and jess come over to hug and jostle him about.

despite medic orders, he ends up watching them run their laps later, lounging in a fold up chair and eating koyo fruit and offering a sunny smile to any playful glower sent their way. finn doesn’t have a meeting until later, so sits leaned up against the side of poe’s chair, drinking in the hot d’qar sun with his face turned to the sky.

he doesn’t even start when poe touches his shoulder, just raises a hand to cover poe’s.

-

love is something given freely in the resistance.

at first it was jarring. seeing so much  _ skin _ was shocking, even; to see faces and hands and arms all the time, it was something else. finn had seen people naked before (communal showers were the only things they had on star destroyers), but those experiences were closed. happened at certain times.

and then for people to touch that skin, hold hands, hug, it lit something up inside him. he wanted that. it didn’t matter what kind. he wanted to make connections. he wanted to  _ love _ in all its capacities. and there wasn’t anything stopping him.

rey is less tactile. she prefers to say it, show it with her actions and words, than to touch. she’ll still take his hand sometimes, something that always tickled finn after their first encounter, but she always rolls her eyes and smiles every time he brings it up. finn loves her. he’s not afraid to say it. he wouldn’t give her up for the world. the love he feels for her is a warm burning sun in the center of his chest, never wavering, always golden.

poe, on the other hand, is very tactile. he’s always touching, hugging, throwing his arms over shoulders and patting arms. finn has watched him kiss foreheads and cheeks and lips, been on the receiving end of a few of them. what had truly baffled him was that poe always  _ asked _ , until finn had told him he didn’t need to. finn doesn’t have a lot of experience with touch, but by whatever he can pray to, he wants to.

it took him a while to warm up to it. touching poe’s wrist to get his attention. nudging shoulders. knocking ankles. and each touch is met with a smile and a happy crinkle of eyes. the love finn feels for poe is different. it’s more stuttering, always there but flaring up, becoming an ache for which he barely has a name for. poe’s face was the first real thing he saw after he decided to leave the first order, and maybe that’s why it always just felt like home.

-

which is why it’s not surprising that after a few celebratory drinks, poe is leaning his back against finn’s shoulder, cackling at something that was said, not that finn was paying enough attention to know what it was. poe is still wearing the jacket, and the raised edge where it was stitched rubs against finn’s arm. rey’s face is flushed from the drink across from him, even though she said she wouldn’t - she had training tomorrow - but she’s laughing that big laugh where she snorts halfway through. she reaches across the table and he takes her hand.

sometimes, times like this are still a little overwhelming. finn blinks back the burning in his eyes.

still, when all was drunk and the pilots headed home, finn drops rey off at her room and is tasked with getting a rickety poe back to their quarters. finn holds his liquor much better than poe, which, considering he’d had none up until he joined the resistance, is a consistent source of teasing for poe from just about everyone.

it doesn’t stop him from wrapping an arm securely around finn’s waist and saying hi to everyone they pass in the hallways. someone yells “nice catch, dameron!” but he just waves them off with a wrinkle of his nose, and doesn’t notice finn’s cheeks heat.

it’s not much trouble to get to their room and deposit poe on his cot, even by moonlight. he snags finn’s wrist before he can pull too far away, looks up at him with glassy eyes and a curve of his lips.

(finn had never got a seperate room, even if they had the space, not after the first night out of medbay when he’d woke up sweating and shaking and saying  _ don’t make me go back, please, i can’t go back _ and poe had been there next to him, fiercely promising  _ i’ll never let them have you again _ , which ended up with poe asleep against his shoulder and their fingers tangled up.)

“thanks finn,” he says, giving finn’s hand a squeeze before he lets it go. finn snorts, but there’s no conviction behind it.

“someone has to get your lightweight ass home.”

poe laughs. sighs. waits a beat, past when finn has returned to his own bunk. “i love you, man.”

finn’s heart surges up, chokes him for a moment before he can swallow it back down. “you’re drunk.”

poe laughs again, and finn does his best to block out the note of bitterness in it. “that i am.”

a silence lapses in which poe falls asleep; finn knows well the evening of his breath, the quiet snore that sometimes creeps in. despite the fact that finn’s heart is still pounding, the sweat on his palms, he sleeps better than he has all week, unused to the sounds of silence.

-

poe sleeps in, because he’s hungover and it’s his last day before he’s back on duty. when finn tries to wake him he just pulls the blanket over his head and groans, and that is enough for finn to know that his sleep is not to be trifled with. finn takes the jacket back from where poe had haphazardly thrown it before he went to sleep and shrugs it on. it smells like worn leather and poe, and he tucks his nose into the collar on his way out the door.

he finds rey sitting outside, far away from the base, where the trees give way to a jagged canyon, dressed in white. she’s just sitting, her eyes closed. so finn just sits across from her and waits.

eventually she cracks an eye open. “you know, i’m supposed to do this for  _ hours _ .”

“oh.”

she grins and hops off the rock she was sitting on to collapse next to him.

“what will master skywalker say?” finn says, biting the smile off his face. it cracks when he sees rey’s face.

“master skywalker isn’t here. and don’t tell him, but i like you better.”

finn nudges her shoulder with hers, and then like a second thought stays there, grounded to her. her eyes are kind and imploring, only catching the green of the jungle around them.

“i should tell poe i like him, right?”

she nods. “you should.”

finn is quiet for a moment. “i don’t want it to go wrong. i don’t want him to think i’m weird and never talk to me again.”

rey snorts, and finn does his best to send her a glare. it doesn’t take.

“i don’t think that’s possible, finn. at worst he’ll say he doesn’t feel the same and you’ll continue on as normal, which would be a huge mistake on his part but -” she shrugs as punctuation - “i really don’t think you’re going to have an issue.”

“really?”

“i mean, i’m not an expert but i think he’s head over heels for you. personal opinion.”

finn covers his face with his hands briefly, in a failed attempt to disperse the sudden heat collecting there. “shut up.”

“sometimes, finn, he looks at you when you’re not looking and it’s like he’s seeing stars or space for the first time. it’s  _ awful _ .”

“ _ thank you _ , rey.”

“in all honesty i think some people think you’re dating already.”   
  


“ _ why? _ ”

“you have  _ got _ to be kidding me,” rey says, throwing up her hands before letting them drop back into her lap, “you guys are all over each other, all the time, constantly together, always smiling and dopey eyed anytime the other person speaks. it’d be  _ unbearable _ , if it wasn’t so sweet.” 

finn groans. “am i really that obvious?”

“you’re very obvious. and the fact that poe hasn’t noticed yet really is a testament to his stubbornness.”

finn sighs, rubs a hand across his jaw.

“look, i’m here for you, whatever you decide, but you will be  _ fine _ .”

-

poe flies the very next day, and it’s such a weight lifted off of finn to be able to tell exactly which x-wing he was in when he looks up during drills. it whirls around in mirth, barely staying in formation, and finn can practically hear poe’s squadmates berating him over the comms.

the general gives poe a few extra days off a week, if they can, just to make sure he heals up better. poe doesn’t really  _ want _ the days off; finn can tell that just from his body language alone - stiff backed and chin raised - but he knows the general just wants the best for him.

but something strange happens on the tarmac after finn greets poe after his first flight back, after poe hugs him still smelling of ozone and still starry-eyed. finn sets his tray down across from rey for lunch and slides into the seat across from her. before he’s even sat down, a hushed  _ we need to talk _ leaves his lips. he watches her face melt from greeting smile to something else, something he’d seen before but had only grown in frequency since her return from ahch-to.

“what’s wrong,” she says. finn lets some of the tension out of his shoulders, and that’s enough for her to go from  _ jedi warrior _ back into his best friend.

“nothing’s wrong, it’s just -” he licks his lips, picks up his fork, puts it down - “i was talking with paige and she was like ‘oh, is that poe’s jacket,’ and then i said yes and she was all ‘oh, i didn’t know you were dating.’ you were right. this is horrible.”

he pauses, and rey is just looking at him, eyebrows raised. he glowers at her.

“we’re not dating.”

“could have fooled me.”

“ _ rey _ , this is serious!” he picks up his spoon again. puts it back down. “do you think he could get in trouble if the general thinks he’s - he’s in cahoots with me?”

“cahoots? seriously finn, what are you, eighty?” rey says around a mouthful of whatever she’s got on her plate. she’s told him many times that the cuisine on ahch-to wasn’t inspiring. “you kinda wear his clothes. doesn’t inspire much of a degree of separation.”

finn grabs the hem of the jacket and stares at it. “should i stop?”

“ _ no _ ,” she says firmly, “the man went out of his way to fix it back up for you when sewing is clearly not his forte. wear it to your grave.”

finn releases the fabric, and nods. she gives him a look. a look that he doesn’t really understand, but rey seems to be all knowing, even before the jedi training.

“do you want to stop?”

something kicks in finn’s chest. “no.”

“i think you should know that if you wanted it, you could have it.”

there’s a flutter of something, deep in finn’s gut that  _ wants _ , but has never been able to  _ have _ before that sparks up his chest and squeezes his heart.

“but i’m just-”

“you’re a  _ hero _ , finn. you  _ saved  _ us.” rey reaches to put on of her hands on his, and the fluttering melts warm into where their fingers are touching. “plus, i’ve heard you’re kinda a big deal around here, even if you are hopeless.”

finn snorts, turning his hand over to give hers a brief squeeze. “thanks rey.”

she smiles, and retracts her hand. she stuffs her face again before she says “so. paige. how’s her sister?”

“i think we’re both hopeless.”

rey stabs her fork at him. “i may die alone, but i’m rooting for you.”

“whoa, what am i walking into here?”

poe slides onto the bench next to finn, coming close enough that their hips touch. finn is very, very aware of that contact considering the conversation he had just had with rey, who’s eyebrows fly up at the speed of light upon seeing how easily her friends share the same space. finn makes a pleading face at her, which he quickly hides when poe turns to him.

“finn, why is she brandishing a weapon,” he says, eyes twinkling, smile lines deep and soft around them, and finn can’t really look at him so he doesn’t even notice when he steals a piece of fruit from his tray.

“because we’re both hopeless in romance and we’re going to die old and single,” finn says, finally actually putting his fork to use, for a moment, before he notices the missing fruit. “hey.”

poe doesn’t acknowledge finn’s protest, past a cheeky smile. “c’mon, you guys are what, only a jedi and a resistance hero? i’m not sure your pickings are slim.” he gives a little shrug, digging into his own lunch. “and considering the  _ tone _ mister big deal over here just used, i’m thinking you’ve both got your eyes on someone in particular.”

it’s poe that gets a fork brandished at him this time, though rey’s eyes are sharp on finn. “how does he know that.”

finn shrugs frantically but poe laughs.

“some of us don’t need jedi mind tricks, we just use our  _ eyes _ ,” poe says, “and also rey, you’re horribly obvious; rose is  _ very  _ nice,  _ please _ go talk to her.”

rey occupies herself by eating as quickly as possible, so she’s pointedly looking at the table when poe bumps his shoulder into finn.

“didn’t know about you, though. they’re lucky, whoever they are. you’re a good man,” he says, and finn swears he sees a flash of something he doesn’t quite recognize in poe’s eyes before they turn away again. nonetheless, finn’s face burns hot under his skin.

“well,” rey says, standing and picking up her tray, “some of us have important training to do.”

poe puts a finger to his lips. “shh, if you speak it into existence i won’t get my two days off.”

“a whole two days? slacker,” finn says, once he’s in himself again. poe laughs and bumps his shoulder again, ducking his head, and that feeling comes back; that feeling that’s like panic, but warmer. softer. finn doesn’t realize he’s staring until his eyes trace the curve of poe’s jaw and he has to pull them away until he gets caught.

“you are both horrible and have no respect for your elders,” poe says. rey snorts before she leaves, fading into the vastness of the base. as soon as she’s gone poe turns to finn, enough that their knees press together under the table, and puts a hand on his shoulder, so gentle if finn wasn’t hyper aware of it, he may not have noticed at all.

“hey,” he says, his voice low and intimate, “you okay? you guys were acting kinda weird when i walked up.”

finn clears his throat, but doesn’t try to move away from where they’re connected. “yeah. yeah we’re alright.”

“you sure? is it rey? is she your - you know -”

“huh?  _ oh _ . oh no. gross.”

poe chuckles. “okay. well, you know you can tell me anything right? anything you want.”

“actually -” when finn speaks poe’s eyes are attentive and caring, and honestly it’s a little much - “does it bother you that i wear this?”

poe’s eyes flick down to the collar of the jacket, linger there for longer than finn thinks is necessary. “of course not. if it did, i wouldn’t have given it to you. like i said, it suits you.”

“okay,” finn says, and poe gives him a good natured clap on the shoulder before he turns back to his food. finn swallows the dryness in his mouth. “i think - i think i do need to talk to you about something, though. later.”

poe nods, giving him that warm smile again, the one that’s more in his eyes than on his lips. “of course, buddy. whatever you need.”

-

poe will say that rey cursed him, because he’s only just finished eating when bb-8 rolls up, chirping something about the general and new intel.

between poe’s meetings and finn’s drills (and an intermission to freak out at rey again, saying  _ i can’t lose him rey, he’s important _ and her reply, soft as she can muster;  _ you won’t, i promise you won’t _ ), they don’t meet again until poe comes in late, late at night, and faceplants into the cot across the room.

“poe?” finn says. it’s dark, well past when the sun went down, and the twin moons are pouring silver light in through their small window. he hears poe shift, hears the tired noise he makes.

“sorry bud, did i wake you?”

“nah.” he’d been awake, fretting, since he’d lay down. there’s some shuffling at the other side of the room, likely poe changing, and finn is glad it’s dark because poe is many things and has many traits, but shame isn’t one of them. “you still up for a little talk?”

“yeah, ‘course. shoot.”

finn scrubs his hands down his face, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes for a moment. “poe, are we dating?”

when there’s only silence for more than half a second, he presses on: “‘cause like, a lot of people think we are, and i wear your clothes, and i don’t know a whole lot about this relationship thing but we hold hands sometimes and when you smile my insides get all warm and-”

“finn, whoa, hey, buddy,” poe says, and he sounds breathless like he’d just been running his mouth. finn quiets, tense, and breathes  _ sorry _ into the empty air.

“no, it’s -” poe breathes a sigh, through his nose, gathering himself. “would you like to be?”

“what?”

“dating. would you like to be dating.”

finn holds his breath, and it gets so quiet he can hear the squawk of birds in the jungle outside the base.

“finn?”

“ _ yes, _ ” finn says, in a rush, “yes, i would like to be dating.”

“okay,” poe says, and it makes finn smile, something loosen in his chest, to hear a smile on that voice, “okay, yeah. i’d like to be dating, too.”

“okay. okay, great.” finn’s a bit giddy on it, his face a little hot, smile making his cheeks sore. poe laughs, quiet, into the humid air. it’s quiet for a little bit again, a different sort of tension between them.

“finn?”

“yeah?”

“would you come here?”

so finn does; carefully maneuvers across their small room by moonlight. poe is sitting up in bed, profile illuminated by soft, white light on one side, the other thrown into non-existence by the night. he looks tired, but happy, and he reaches for finn once he’s close enough. finn takes his hand, and there’s something distinctly different about the contact, while also being, so, so familiar.

poe draws him in, and finn sits. he studies him as poe does the same, twin circles of the moon making his eyes as deep as space and twice as beautiful. he has this look of wonder on his face, like he’s never had something so good. he cups a palm to finn’s cheek, thumb touching his cheekbone, and finn turns into it, just a little, but it’s enough he can hear poe’s throat click in the dark.

“will you stay here tonight?” poe’s voice is quiet, perhaps quieter than finn’s heard it before. he smiles, and knows poe can feel it.

“i live here.”

poe puffs part of a laugh, his hand sliding to the back of finn’s neck. “you know what i mean.”

finn reaches, carefully, to touch the glimmering chain that frames the hollow of poe’s throat. poe breathes out, shaky, his eyes searching before he gently brings their foreheads together. the moment could last three seconds or three years; the thundering in finn’s heart does little to help him keep time. eventually, poe covers the hand on his chest with his own and pulls back.

“big spoon or little spoon,” poe says, even as he uses his thumb to pet the hairs at the nape of finn’s neck. finn shivers, but tries to play it off. poe’s smile gets a little cheeky, just for a moment, before it’s back to tender and fond.

“little.”

“alright.”

there’s a little adjusting needed, and the cot isn’t exactly spacious. even pressed flush to poe (which is another thing entirely), finn is still dangerously close to toppling off the bed. that is, until poe circles an arm around his waist and tugs him against his chest.

“this okay?”

finn’s heart is beating a mile a minute. “yeah.”

poe nuzzles between finn’s shoulderblades. “you know, when the shorter man’s the big spoon it’s called jetpacking.”

finn barks a laugh and it’s loud in the small space, but poe is chuckling behind him, unsuccessfully trying to tuck his knees up behind finn’s. his breathing evens out eventually though; finn can feel it, the slowing of the expansion of his ribs.

“goodnight poe,” he says softly.

poe tightens his hold, just marginally. “mm, g’night finn.”

-

finn is awoken with an unfamiliar weight on his chest, and bb-8 beeping and rolling circles around the room. somehow, finn had ended up on his back with poe squished against the wall and partially on top of him, face smushed under finn’s chest, sleep shirt rucked up enough to show some skin on his back, perfectly golden in the new morning sunlight. and finn stares at him, because apparently he didn’t have the best dream his mind could possibly dredge up; apparently, this was real, as real as poe is, warm and solid, and he’s somewhere between deciding to cry with joy or freak out entirely when bb-8 rolls up to their bedside.

they begin a long sequence of binary that is abruptly cut off when they see finn instead of poe, seemingly so shocked that they actually recoil. their optics swivel to finn, then to poe, and then back, and finn is really starting to feel like he can  _ see _ the smugness set into the little droid, which should be impossible.

regardless, bb-8 still rolls full force at the bedpost, rattling the whole thing, making poe start awake with a fairly unattractive snort. he huffs, brings a hand up to his eyes to rub the grit out of them, but doesn’t actually move to open them. bb-8 lets out another string of beeps, until poe leans over finn and places his hand on bb-8’s dome with the soft sound of calloused skin on metal.

“shh, no beepies.” poe sounds pathetic and sleepy, but his choice of words, makes finn snort with laughter. it’s only then that poe opens his eyes, but not before they crinkle with that telltale smile beforehand.

“hi,” finn says intelligently, and that just makes poe’s smile grow.

“hey.” he walks his fingers up finn’s chest until he can place his palm flat to it, no doubt if he can feel finn’s heart rate kick up underneath his touch. “no wonder i slept so well. you’re an excellent pillow.”

“thank you?” finn laughs, even if it’s just to see the flash of teeth in poe’s grin.

“trust me buddy, it’s a compliment,” he says, before bb-8 beeps incredulously. poe turns his attention to them, laying his head on finn’s chest. finn only hesitates for a second before he reaches to tangle a hand into poe’s wild curls, and he can see poe’s eyes flutter half shut.

“i ain’t ignoring you,” poe says, voice a little slurred from relaxation. bb-8 is silent, before they trill a line that sounds like what they were saying before. poe leaps from the cot so fast it knocks the wind out of finn. 

“it’s  _ how  _ many hours?” bb-8 answers with a flat sounding beep. “why didn’t you tell me!” another trill. “i wasn’t ignoring you!”

finn watches poe argue with his droid while he yanks his flight suit on over his underwear, then socks and boots, and he seems to remember he has an active audience that expressed explicit romantic feelings towards him not a few hours earlier as soon as his shirt hits the floor. he freezes, shoulders drawn. the blaster burns are still angry and red against his skin, but fading slowly. they’ll scar, and join the collection already so ingrained to his flesh.

finn’s mouth feels dry. “those are healing well.”

poe laughs, tension dropping, shooting a crooked smile over his shoulder. “flirt.” he tugs his undershirt on. finn’s laugh is high pitched as he sits up.

“i’m probably not the best at this.”

poe turns, face impossibly soft. “you’re perfect,” he says, before he leans to press a kiss to finn’s brow. finn’s hands come up instinctually, and poe takes both of them in each of his before he steps back, keeping them connected. finn can tell that poe knows he’s blushing, just from the way one side of his mouth is higher than the other.

“i gotta go in. leia is short of staff after the whole starkiller situation,” he says, lifting a hand to stroke his knuckles over finn’s cheek, making his heart skip, “i’ll see you later?”

“you better,” finn says. poe chuckles before shrugging the rest of the way into his flight suit and heading out the door. bb-8 stays there, staring at finn, until poe calls them from around the corner, and finn has never felt so naked in his entire life.

he practically runs to rey’s room as soon as poe is out of earshot and rapidly, but quietly, knocks on her door.

“finn, by the  _ light _ , just come in!”

he slaps the keypad and the door comes sliding open. rey takes one look at finn’s face and lights up, leaping up from her cot.

“you did it?”

finn nods.

“and?”

“yeah. it went well. really well.”

“finn! i’m so happy for you!” she says, practically jumping into his arms, hard enough that he has to step back and laugh and hug her back twice as fiercely. when she pulls away, finn taps her on the nose, which she wrinkles, crossing her arms over her chest before he even speaks. 

“now, it’s your turn.”

-

they find rose on the tarmac, working on a freighter. as soon as rey sees her, she freezes up and clutches finn’s hand.

“oh no,” she says, and finn has to try really hard not to laugh at her.

“i’m  _ just _ going to introduce you guys, and then you can run away.”

“right.”

finn waves at rose when she turns around, and her face splits on a smile, even as she wipes some sweat from her brow, leaving a dark smear of grease across her skin. her gaze flicks to rey, and recognition flicks across her face.

they hit it off strong, even though when rey tries to introduce herself rose just says  _ no, i know who you are _ and it leaves rey flustered and blushing. they get talking about jakku, and after finn’s quick notes about how they met, he starts slowly edging himself out of the conversation. he’s so concentrated on his stealthy escape that he starts when someone touches the back of his hand.

poe lifts his hands in apology, but raises an eyebrow at the other two while they giggle obviously in their conversation. finn nods, subtly, and it just makes poe’s smile grow.

“if you’re trying to leave, i brought food,” he says quietly. finn grins, just briefly. poe smells almost obnoxiously of ozone, of engine oil and koyo fruit. he’s still in his orange flight suit. none of it stops finn from reaching and hooking a few of their fingers together, just because he can, and watching the affection bleed onto poe’s face.

“alright,” roses voice says, louder now. she sounds very appreciative, and when finn turns to look she’s staring right at them, big smile on her face, “you guys an item now or what?”

rey’s face next to her is sunny bright, encouraging, and poe is steady next to him, waiting. finn shifts his grip, slowly, to hold poe’s hand more securely.

“yeah, i think we are.”

-

poe drags finn out of the hangar, out of the base, into the trees just down the hill. he’s got a bag in one hand and finn’s hand in the other, and only responds with  _ you’ll see _ every time finn asks where they’re going.

_ you’ll see _ ends up being exactly where the dense forest gives way to a stretch of white, sandy beach, where soft jungle floor melts into soft grass, then grass to sand. the ocean crashes gently, smoothing over finn’s nerves, as the evening sun makes stained glass of the water, golds and pale greens. finn is too busy staring out at the ocean so he doesn’t notice poe sit with a rush of breath until he tugs on his pant leg.

“come hang out with me,” he says, and that makes finn laugh before he takes a seat beside him. he notices poe’s eyes linger on the side of his face just a fraction too long before he’s unpacking the bag he brought between them.

he’d packed an assortment of things they were generally short on, given rationing and the sense that they are part of a resistance movement without much funding and always moving. a small amount of cheese, some bread; fresh fruit and berry spreads and a bottle of wine, which, after a quick sniff, was deemed undrinkable and recorked with a rock for someone else to deal with.

“what’s all this for?” finn asks, once everything is spread out on what looks like a threadbare blanket. poe glances up, his gaze fond.

“for dating,” he says, shrugging out of the top half of his flight suit and tying the arms around his waist, “this is a date.”

“oh.” 

their conversation moves easily as they eat and watch the sun go down. it was never hard to talk to poe, finn found. he could see on some of the other members of the resistance’s faces that he sometimes tripped over himself, said something odd. but if he ever does that with poe he doesn’t treat it like it’s weird. it’s been like that since he met him, when he was willing to put his life on the line with a man he’d just met.

they’d finished eating and poe is telling a story about when they had to go up and save jess because he agreed to go on a three hour hike just to impress a girl, and he’s got hand gestures and he’s smiling in his eyes and finn is laughing. the sun is in her fiery death throes, casting shadows that disappear into the trees beyond. gold light curls into poe’s hair, casts sharp darkness across his cheek, paints his skin a warm pink. finn knows that maybe he shouldn’t stare but he can’t help it, trying to map out the way his eyelashes sweep against his cheekbones and the exact framing of the chain around his neck, disappearing under that white tank he’d watched him put on earlier that morning. maybe he should have noticed when poe stopped talking, but he didn’t, and only snaps out of whatever trance he’d been put under when poe’s soft smile stretches into something a little more wicked.

“something on your mind?”

finn swallows, but can’t bring himself to look away. “you’re gorgeous.”

poe’s smile falters, but not in a bad way. he looks almost shocked before his mouth curves again, small. finn swears he sees his ears turn red, but it must be a trick of the light. 

“you keep talking like that and you’ll give a man an ego.”

“oh, like you need a bigger one of those.”

“shut up,” poe laughs. they’re sitting close, close enough that finn can feel the heat off of poe in the heat of the sleeping day. close enough that it’s impossible to miss the way that poe’s eyes dart to his lips, bark brown in the horizontal light. and finn knows that poe wouldn’t push a boundary, would wait, calm and patient, but finn doesn’t really want to wait. so he lifts a hand and brushes his thumb across poe’s cheekbone and watches his eyes grow round with wonder.

“poe?”

“yeah?” it’s so soft finn barely hears it.

“can i kiss you?”

“yeah. yeah, buddy. you can kiss me.”

so he does.

poe is warm and responsive against finn’s lips; as soon as they’re pressed to his he’s letting out a shuddering sigh and pressing into him, lifting a hand to the back of finn’s skull to draw him in, and finn finds himself clutching at poe’s soft waist to ground him somewhere, anywhere. finn hasn’t had much experience but this just feels  _ right _ ; all other senses tuning out, turning to poe, tuning to home. poe licks at his lips just in time to break the kiss, leaving finn to chase him, panting more out of the emotion of it than the length. he presses their foreheads together and looses a rickety laugh, scratching his fingers at the nape of finn’s neck.

“wow.”

“okay?”

poe huffs a breathless noise, kisses the bridge of finn’s nose, the corner of his mouth before murmuring “yeah. should give me another. just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.” 

finn huffs a laugh against poe’s lips. “yeah, okay,” it all he gets out before poe is kissing him again. this one is a little more heat, and little more  _ want _ ; poe’s tongue touches finn’s lips before his mouth does and it sends warmth flooding through finn, makes him clutch at poe’s hip and open up for him. finn’s chest is practically bursting; he’s hardly made to contain all this love, so he doesn't. he just pours it back into poe and hopes he can taste it in the heat of his breath, feel it in the touch he slides just barely under poe’s shirt. he thinks that he can, because poe is cradling his face in both hands and finding a way closer, always closer, until poe is kneeling over finn’s lap and making a sound so quiet finn nearly misses it. it sounds a little bit like relief and a little like desperation, and finn drags a hand up poe’s back just to hear it again.

poe pulls away and immediately tucks his lower lip between his teeth, raking a hooded gaze down finn’s body. it’s so familiar finn nearly jumps back in time.

“how long have you wanted to do that?” finn asks him. poe smiles, and it looks a little sheepish.

“oh, about around the first time you pulled your helmet off after you rescued me.” poe settles a little more comfortably on finn’s lap, just a bit more weight, and slides his arms to rest on finn’s shoulders.

“really?”

“yeah. i sort of short circuited.”

finn chuckles, feeling the heat bloom across his skin. “flattering.” he tucks his face into poe’s neck, just for a moment, and poe is quick to move a hand to the back of his neck, warm and solid and comforting. “worth the wait?”

“oh,  _ well _ worth it.” he presses their foreheads together again, shutting his eyes for a moment. “just made it sweeter.”

“glad you don’t have to any more?”

poe hums his agreement. “still can go as slow as you want, though.”

“as slow as i want, huh?” finn says, waiting for poe’s eyes to focus on him before he kisses him, slow and deep, until he can feel poe’s fingers curl against the back of his head, until the other hand runs down to rest on his chest.

“yeah, buddy, as slow as you want,” he says breathlessly, tipping his head agreeably as finn presses his lips to the stubbled curve of his jaw. he kisses the side of poe’s neck and he all but melts in his arms, breathing his name like some sort of unconscious prayer. something flares in finn, and he’s sure he startles poe when he rolls them so poe is flat on his back and staring up at him, but by the way his eyelids droop and he bites his lip he’s sure he’s easily forgiven.

“okay?” finn asks, just in case, and poe answers him by grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him into a haphazard kiss.

“fine by me,” he says against finn’s mouth, and they’re both smiling when they kiss each other again.

-

they stay like that until the moons are shining high and bright in the sky and they know exactly how to kiss each other and their lips are too bruised to keep doing it. they sneak back onto base, relying on moonlight to navigate. they are gently berated by bb-8 upon entering their room and they both fiercely shush them. 

they curl up facing one another, and finn falls asleep with his fingers in poe’s hair and poe’s palm cupping his cheek.

-

“where did you disappear off too?” rey says the next morning, as finn sits across from her. finn clears his throat and wills his face not to heat up, but rey can see right through him. her smile is wicked.

“you sly dog.”

“rey, no it was - we were just -”

“uh huh.”

finn sighs. he’s tired, but he’s happy enough not to care, and makes sure to school his expression into something that shows it. rey’s grin softens.

“what about you? how’d it go?” finn says, and watches rey’s face cycle through about half it’s emotional inventory until she settles on  _ fine _ . she very obviously pulls the collar of her shirt closer to her neck.

“glad to hear.”

when poe gets there, he greets finn with a kiss, and the entire pilot’s table goes  _ wild _ . rey looks elated. everything, even if just for a moment, feels right in the world; all finn can feel is love, in all its forms, and something deep-seated and askew feels closer to being in place.

-

later, a newer trainee asks  _ oh, is that poe’s jacket _ and finn says  _ it was _ and she says  _ oh, i didn’t know you were dating _ and finn says  _ yeah, we are. _

**Author's Note:**

> writing this i remembered why i don't write these two anymore i'm too gay
> 
> happy birthday tj ilu
> 
> incalyscent-writes.tumblr.com


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